And so I wonder, would you take me back if I offered myself?

-silence-

She answers; no.

-silence-

These small dialog keep popping up in my head from time to time. Not sure why since I have no intention to apologize or crawl back to something worn and old. I can admit that my feelings haven’t changed that much and I’m not sure I’m ready to lose them – yet.
Dad called me and asked about Christmas. My stomach fell to my bottom and I found myself barely holding back the tears. We’ve always spent half at my house and half at hers. (And now the tears are here.)

She always knew when I was tired, sad, depressed, happy, hungry, mad and etc by just looking at me. I miss that. I miss to have someone who takes care of me, but who also know me inside out. I lost a lot, but also my best friend – who’s hanging out my ex best friend. I can’t even grasp what happened, but it’s fine. It’s just hard to watch her do so much without even think about the possibility to talk to me. It’s fine tho. Even though I know you cared, it doesn’t feel like it. Just look how fast you drink the alcohol in your glass. For every time you downed a glass, I cut with glass. 

My scares on the inside and out will tell my story. 

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